Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Cinema Etiquette

Bitch. I hope you die.

The above statement is not unfounded. For those who know me, you know I DO NOT sprout curses and vulgarities at people for no known reason. (YES there are people who effing uses the eff word in EVERY damn effing sentence, and sometimes not just once, okay?)

Yesterday, I went to catch a dumbass Halloween show. Yup you guessed it. Halloween 2! Before I go cursing and swearing at the stupid Indian Angmor-wannabe bitch, I gotta tell you - THE SHOW IS A BLAAARRRDEEE WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY!!!! Just plenty of gore and grotesque scenes. Nothing more. The content was crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. It was the stupidest thing I've watched, ever. I should have suggested to my friend that we head home to watch Animal Planet or Discovery Channel's Air Crash Investigation. AT LEAST I would have gained some knowledge. Or entertained myself watching Tom and Jerry in teochew on Youtube.  SORRY darling for suggesting such a crap show! Next movie's on me okay?

Okay, point made.


The stupid Indian bitch.

I am not prejudiced okay? Some of you know I have Indian friends who are normal, some even cool. Though of course some of these friends are ashamed of some people of their own kind. And joke about them like we do. And come on, like the Chinese, don't we all hate the uncouth, loud, rude, China PRCs who've infiltrated into our society? The nice ones are okay, it's just these...URGH people who make people ashamed of their roots!!!!

Let me recount to you what happened last night~

She was there making FUCKING LOUD burps ON BLARDEE PURPOSE! Friends of mine, you know I burp right? And you know I can't control mine, so it comes out as a damn deep chesty burp, sometimes abruptly halted by pieces of food or liquid that come out along with the burp... Okay, now, I'm sure you know how the purposely-forced-out burp sounds like right? Take the volume of MY burp, multiply the decibels by 10. KANNINNA!!!! I would have named her that. Fuck man. And she does it when there is a silence. Like in between trailers before the show, or at scene changes. And and and...get this...every time she does it, she explodes into squeals (you know, like a pig?) of giggles with her retarded Indianish angmorish (it was dark and I couldn't confirm his race) boyfriend. Like you know how some stupidly obnoxious  guys purposely does something exaggerating and laughs (complete with snort-ed laughter) and EXPECTS the girls to laugh? Yah! She did it JUST like that!!!!!! With the snorts!!! Except she's female. And well, yeah, it worked for her because at least one person, her mentally disabled boyfriend, LAUGHED!!! -.-"

Then, she HAS to get more attention showered on her by going "WWHHHHOOOOAAAA!!!!" at the most inappropriate timings. Dear, I'm SURE you are the sort who have joined Singapore Idol (and it ends at the auditions of course) and been appraoched by the camera and have HAPPILY done your super salah act thinking it was oh-so-cool and which shouts "ME". AND ended up in the 1st 3 episodes of the Singapore Idol where they showcase the Salah Idiots before moving on to the real Singapore Idols. She should have gone for Miss Singapore World man. She'd have beaten Ris Low to shame. URRGHHH!

Do you feel my disgust already?

I had an urge to be super Ah Lian and do this

and swing her across the theatre until she lands on a splat amidst some abandoned half-eaten Nacho chips complete with loads of leftover melted cheese and chilli sauce.

But of course, Miss Silver Ang here has a reputation to keep (I'm supposedly the sweet WaWa Jie Jie remember???) and I don't want to be famous this way cos I was SURE if the above were to occur, some smartass would whip out their latest cameraphone, video down the whole drama in its raw entirety, and post it up on Youtube. Then I'll appear, HUGE on the front page, of today's New Paper. ALTHOUGH ALTHOUGH!!! I was pretty sure I'd be applauded and appreciated by every single person in the cinema trying to watch the stupid show in peace. (YAH it's a stupid show~~~, but you don't have to lose the cinema etiquette cos we're all civilized souls, are we not, hmmm? *bats eyelashes*)

May these people just die....

Shouldn't they, hmmm???


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