Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Brazilian

No I'm not talking about the Brazilian hunks or footballers that some of you adore so much...I was thinking since we're on the topic of beautifying, let me share something about Brazilian waxing.

I'm personally a huge fan of the Brazilian wax. There's just something about going bald down south.
For starters, it's hygienic, because you don't trap that much dirt, right?

Then, there's this prepubescent thing that turns so many men on, though that is not one of the reasons I go for one.

You don't leave your pubic hair in places you don't want to, like this

Imagine how the next person who uses this toilet will feel about the person who just exited the cubicle?

Next, of course, there's the clean bikini look. I've seen countless overgrowths at the beach, and it makes me wonder if these people know that the bushes are overgrown and have crept out of their bikini bottoms to enjoy the sun too like some plant thirsty for light. (You know how plants grow towards light right?). I've personally seen a celebrity friend (And mind you, she's not one of those small celebs that few people know about. People KNOW her.) with these 'overgrowths' and honestly, I wasn't the only one who saw it and, imagine, if friends around you can see them, think about who else saw. *Gasp* The bunch of us have absolutely no idea how to approach her regarding this topic without making her feel...well...embarrassed.

For those who HAVEN'T had the chance to see this, here is an idea...

*cringe* this is the best picture I could find on the internet...

Don't we all want to look like this instead?

Nice, clean bikini line...*thumbs up*

Okay we're all adults here, if not, erm, kids, just take this as reference for many years down the road, ok?

It makes oral sex so much better.

For the person going down on you, that is. Having a strand (or strands, god forbid) of pubic hair stuck in your teeth or tickling your throat is hardly considered sexy. Don't we all wish that intimacy with that special someone is always nice, with no embarrassing moments or hiccups? Yes they happen. Real life isn't Hollywood. You know how much effort goes into making that Hollywood sexy scene so steamy? Lots of preparation by the whole set of crew, the stars included. Nice bedding, countless crunches and hours on the treadmill, and those sexy voluminous curls on the female star? Curled, blown, and set to perfection. My point is, yes, in real life, it's hardly so glamorous and sexy, as it's that moment that happens on the spur of the moment. And it helps to take some of the unglamorous stuff away. Like gagging your partner with pubic hair. No, chances are he/she will not show it. But it's well...urgh~

No I'm not suggesting that you run out and get a Brazilian wax now just so you can shove your privates in your partner's face later.  I'm saying it is all part of your personal hygiene and looking and feeling good. Like getting rid of armpit hair, having deodorant on, shampooing your hair on a regular basis so it doesn't look and smell oily, and putting on perfume that doesn't cause people within 10m diameter to pass out when you walk past, and shaving, for men (so you don't get gravy or rice stuck on your face after eating, and also,so you don't cause a painful sounding "OUCH!" when kissing your special someone.)

Okay, I'm not going to just go into the niceties about waxing.

For people who've tried any kind of hair removal, and even if not, you know hair grows. It just grows....It's amazing how hair on some parts of your body know the exact length to stop growing (lashes, eyebrows, leg hair, pubic hair never grow like hair on our head, thank god), but they grow. So, you know that once you pluck hair out of their follicles, they grow FROM the follicles, within the skin. AH, yes~!!! Ingrown hair!!! And the itchy itchy feeling when hair is trying to push their way out of your skin. That's where your scrubs and the lotions that your waxing therapist recommend come into place. Don't think that these people are just trying to earn your money. Those stuff tend to get rid of excessive dead skin so hair has an easier time finding its way out, and makes the interval period before your next waxing appointment so much more pleasant.

Okay, I'm SURE many people are curious about this: Pain level.'ll live. Think of it as a sudden slap. That's about as painful it'll get. Or for those who doesn't know how a slap feels like, think of it as a shock. You'll feel the pain like a sudden shock, when the wax is yanked off, but the pain doesn't stay, unlike the pain that lingers after someone has pinched you. And the good thing is, chances are you'll be able to walk out feeling like a brand new person in less than 30 minute. My sessions usually just take 15 minutes.

Virgin experiences with Brazilian waxing can be very unnerving, I know. Just tell the therapist that it's your first solo and they will know what to do. They'll talk to you more, explain to you what they're doing so you don't get a shock and run after the first application and end up with a bush with a bald patch. U.G.L.Y, if u ask me. The waxes they use are hot, but they won't burn you. The hot wax actually feels quite shiok after you're used to it. Lol. The wax, upon application, clings to your hair, cools down n hardens, after which the therapist will yank it off, skilfully and strategically, to minimise the pain. You won't end up with a bruise, so it ain't that bad.

So chill. Trust me, you'll be fine.

OH! AND!!! (I know this post is dammmn lor sor, but hey, I'm being informative. ) NEVER EVER EVER EVER on your own, try DIY Brazilian waxing. I once thought I'd save some money and do it myself. So I happily went to the pharmacy (I was in the states, so there were all these brands available), and bought myself a DIY kit,complete with wax you need to put in the microwave to melt.

Excited with my purchase, I went back and tried it immediately. After the first application of the wax and the yanking it off MYSELF, what followed was a series of vocabulary of vulgarities that I never even knew I knew of. Because I'm doing it on myself and I'm not skilled, I probably did it all wrong but it was so painful. Gone are the shock I mentioned above. You're doing it yourself, so you know EXACTLY when you're yanking. The shock-split-second-pain is gone, and each yank was a dreadfully long and painful experience.

Plus, our body's not geographically positioned in a way that is conducive for DIY-waxing. You can't really see without bending over. So imagine me in a super kiao-gu position, trying to see what I'm doing, swearing in all sorts of languages, messy wax all over my south-island, and feeling super dulan cos I HAVE to finish it. Yah, duh~ Would I dare to show the patchy stuff to my therapist? Super 丢脸 can~~ N it means I have to admit to her that I actually was attempting it so I didn't have to go to her HAD TO FINISH WHAT I BLOODY HELL GEH-KIANG STARTED DOING!!! Grrrrr....

I probably looked like this back in my room then...

  Do not try this at home.

It usually costs not more than $50 to get a proper one done. Mine's $30-odd cos I got a package. There are some good ones out there costing less. You just have to do some homework, call and ask about the price and settle for a salon you're comfortable with. It shouldn't be too much trouble, and when you have gone for the first time, you'll know it was worth it. (Unless of course your partner's Tarzan and he loves you raw and hairy like a rambutan)

Feel pretty afterwards...
Love ;)

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